Cut open the fruit
then carve out the blackened parts
’til nothing remains.
Apples, like truth, do not wait
for consciousness to grow ripe.
Freeing yourself was one thing; claiming ownership of that freed self was (is) another
Toni Morrison
One question stays invaluable.
Imagine, as you are reading this, that the year is 2009, and you’re with your friends at your vacation house in Batangas.
Pretend you are the same wide-eyed, hopeless romantic you were, without a clue as to whom you’ll fall for in a month’s time, much less that you’ll waste five years of your life with this person, only to be disappointed in the end.
I keep saying I regret that I met you, but the truth is I regret that you met me. My wish for you is to regain that hope you lost, even if it means forgetting we ever happened. I’m sorry I let you down so many times - turns out I wasn’t as sure or stable as I thought. I’m sorry that I came around too late - as I’ve said, I may carry this for the rest of my life.
The year is still 2009, and one of your friends locked herself in the master bedroom with your phone, or something like that. All you can do is imagine it ringing and beeping off the hook, but you can’t receive anything because a locked door stands between you and it. I am greeting you now but not really:
Happy birthday, you. Take back the years you wasted with me and replace it with happier memories - I will only find solace when you do. Enjoy your day. Good night.